Hot out of gossipy soccer moms’ mouths:
(we’ll see how many times this gets updated.)

April 2006

Ray has moved to Florida.

Buddha With a Gun have changed their name to Snakes on a Plane to bank on the hype. Or maybe it’s Sparks on a Plane if lawsuits persue. Buddha on a Plane couldn’t get Samuel L. Jackson as stoked.

Evilsaurus Rex said that the scene sucks and they’re never playing in Flagstaff again.
J ETOMI if you didn’t scope them on St. Patrick’s Day, or failed to see them with Japanther, the month before, than you might not know that they’ve dumbed down a bit, in a sludgy fuck-you type way and just got back from tour. Global domination is eminent. It just might take another few or fifteen years. The Casebeers are my personal heroes despite what my Myspace account says, and all objectivity thrown out the window, your punk band is cheating itself if it doesn’t record their record at Knobmonkey Studios

Meanface National tour in June/July/August, with no record out and no following outside of Flagstaff, the collective testicle size of this band is bigger than your band. This tour will be followed by tours to follow after that. Meanface are an American band.

Baby Gecko have a one way ticket to Valhalla. They’ve outlined a nine point program to self destruction. They’ll record in May, tour the West Coast in June and promptly explode loudly so all can hear on their triumphant return. They are, objectively speaking, the best band Flagstaff has ever seen.

Red Dress Press Tour in June with Baby Gecko and onward to even more fantastic pop songs and feminist revolution. They’re calling me up to change that as you’re reading this.

Body Parts are, according to Jason Moore, a party grind band. The Mudhoney of grind? They pretty much start where bands like Wall of Death, Jackson and KGB left off. That said, they don’t take to a good-natured heckling as healthily as they should. This is only one man’s opinion. Flag’s best current band? Could be, everyone with a safety pin and ass patch are nodding their heads in unison.

Jackson broke up. Rumor has it Van Damme sent a cease and desist letter. I imagine Sean is looking for a good noisy outfit to blurt out his rather gravelly scream.

Murmur seem like the worst possible crossing of genres ever. Ska with anything sounds like disaster, but they somehow make it work with excellent song writing, a good punk sensibility (how stupid is that phrase?) and a hatred for Christianity that goes unrivaled besides perhaps, um, Christian Death? Their recording is epic.

The Skags: Starting as a really charming minimalist punk band, these super young dudes now defy categorization in any encompassing sense. But dare I mention Rudimentary Peni and Lightening Bolt? Split LP with Murmur in the works.

For this gossip columnist’s money, the best musician in town is Adam Frumhoff and his fascist killing banjo. Rumor has it he’s going on tour with Black Wagon.

Everyone’s favorite, Alliaceous, is on an extended hiatus right now, (you should get their LP anyway) but Nick and Craig are onto another plant-y type project, Creosote. However, look for a more garlic-y show come July or August.

Let’s not forget Sisterpants, who at this juncture seems crowded in secrecy, a philosophy that less is more, and that a free slot at SXSW is not worth interrupting a honeymoon for.

Most of these bands, if not all of them make appearances at Kendrick House, who is on a merchandizing spree (patches, maybe t-shirts) and if you’re good with a spray can, they might let you put a piece up. Don’t fuck with their house, for Chrissake. This should go without saying, but apparently someone has to say it. Don’t shit where you eat, you stupid fucks.

And if we’re lucky, they’ll keep up the good work in the basement of Cottage House. Flagstaff’s never seen better days.

And don’t forget the Hive, which is fantastic in the chapel, or the back room. An impossibly amazing resource. Get your bike fixed, do Pilates, marginalize yourself by becoming an anarchist, start a puppet show, whatever!

If you’re in Phoenix, and you don’t know to check www.theshizz.org, you’re probably wasting your life away on Myspace.

The Flagstaff Live this week is covering some benign cultural events, stirring absolutely no shit and making no one mad or happy or feel anything. Unless they give Mihio Manus the greenlight on the Baby Gecko feature which might be really, really embarrassing.

Everyone is waiting for Joe Myers to make his return to Flagstaff.

Mercy Fall as everyone knows, is on Atlantic Records, and no one, anywhere, cares.

Salem and Isobel are similarly looking for major label support.

The Ugly Kids, where are they?

The ghosts of the Monte Vista Hotel are suing for unfair representation and want everyone to know, regardless of decision, that the owners and managers of this club are about as kind and have as much human merit as Saddam Hussein. Also, can anyone tell me which room Michael Stipe and Moz fucked in?

In more national shoes, I mean news, Dogg and Pony DCs are out very, very shortly. And yes, they’ll be carrying them at Cowtown Skateboards in all corners of the greater Phoenix metropolitan area. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can scope my pair. Isaac Ramos really needs to update the Dnp006.com website.

I’ve never seen the Buddyhead website and if this resembles their gossip section in any way, it’s merely a coincidence. Robothouse owes them nothing.