DIY rock n roll, man! Flagstaff, man! It was an excellent weekend for these things. Incidentally it was also a good weekend for whatever corporation that manufactures Sparks caffeinated malt liquor. Let me ask you something: is there anything better than loud music with a cold can of beer in your hand? It’s a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer.

Here’s a brief, minimalist breakdown of a few of this weekend’s events:

Cinco De Mayo

“Every Light Is a Bong Hit”

Secret Vulture

@ Casa De Pedro

I vaguely recall a salute to the pagan god, Marky Mark. Good vibrations were felt all around.

I also recall the strange lady going nuts over Josh, and then nuts in general. She lives across the street from me and yells at me sometimes. A good anti-crack advert if one was actually needed.

The orgy was a bit short. People got too excited.

As some of you know, 6/6/6 is this year, coming up in about a month and this 5/5/6 event was a fundraiser for the demons that need reimbursement for their reckoning next month. I’m happy to announce that $12 were raised, and we only need $8,564,987 for the supplies we need to provide as stated in their riders, and their guarantee. I call that success.

Later that evening,

Red Dress Press

@ the Hive

This was the kick off evening of another symposium on gender issues, relationship issues and how to make the Hive more inclusive.

As Red Dress Press set up, there was a movie playing on a very small television about feminist protest and one lady was walking around the big church, saying “oh, this movie is really good. Have you seen this movie? It’s really good.” I think we’ve all seen the movie. Look, I just want to rock.

Red Dress Press is awesome. Oh, you knew that already. Well, they didn’t disappoint. It was good.

Ray’s note: Some band that resembled the Les Payne Product in looks, but not in awesomeness played the MonteV. Oh, Rey Luv is back in town:

Hangover nursing until the next evening:

Seis de Mayo (it just doesn’t have that marketable ring, I know)

Daniel Francis Doyle

Tuxedo Killers

Sister Pants

This show was perhaps the most fun Cottage House show that there’s been.

Sister Pants proved yet again that weed and pop music rival loud music and a cold can in hand. Serious up and comers.

Tuxedo Killers took the Sam McPheeters growl of Wrangler Brutes and did some fun rock behind it and simply, as they say, “tore it down.” I’ve never been so impressed by Austin, Texas in my life. Except for when they reported that Best Fwends recently sold the first track they ever wrote for $18,000 to some British booze company for an ad. No joke.

Then Daniel Francis Doyle came on and did his impression of a four piece rock band from the summer of 1994. Amazing. As one guy said, “it’s like a one guy Hella.” It was something like that. All I can say is he came out of that sweet, weed smelling basement, really really sweaty.

And then some of us marched on to

Secret Life of Painters

Chief Beef

@ Monte Vista

My field reporter tells me that people got drunk and listened to loud music. Surprise, surprise.

Field Reporter: Yes, it is true:


Chief Beef was INCREDIBLE!

No time for hangover damage control it’s on to

KICKBALL

@ Mark Grace Field

The sports reporter has informed that the first serious injury of the season took place this last Sunday. A drunk underage child got hit by a train. It went like this: “Shit, he’s hurt, let’s get out of here!” Then everybody left. The child screaming, demanded to be taken by the hospital. The last guy there dropped him off.

Everybody but that kid went to:

Seven de Mayo

Jetomi

Craig Brown

Creosote

IceAge Cobra

@ Dirty Steve’s

Okay, Creosote effing rule. It’s like why I liked going to shows when I was seventeen. I don’t know if a band can do better than that. Amazing.

Ice Age Cobra is like why I liked going to shows in my early twenties. What else can I say? Oh, V-O-C-O-D-O-R! Sick!

I think I’ve seen about 90% of JETOMI’s local shows. This might’ve been their best. I’m pretty sure it was.

Craig Brown made me feel bad about myself. In a good way. No, it was a bad way. But it was good.

I had so much fun at this show that I forgot to pass out the flyers in my backpack. They look like this:

OLD HAUNTS (kill rock stars)

THE SKAGS (lil rock stars)

BABY GECKO (I can’t think of another rhyme. Maybe you can.)

Martes, Trienta De Mayo (Tuesday May 30th)

@ Casa De Cottage. Begins early evening, ends at 10pm. Bring $ for the talent.

So then, it was off to:

Evilsaurus Rex

IceAge Cobra

@ Monte Vista

My field reporter has just informed me that people got really drunk and had a good time. This just in: Julie is really crazy.

Rockasarus Rex I mean Evilsarus Rex and Ice Age Cobra Played. It was amazing, hands down, check it:

Drink 6-9 beers and/or 5 mixed drinks and then listen to 9-15 bands over one weekend before viewing this Ice Age Cobra video.