PART 1:

PART 2:

Tour de Fat is Cancelled for 2008
January 29th, 2008

Our friends at New Belgium Brewing have decided to cancel the Flagstaff Tour de Fat for 2008. Since this event represented almost 50% of FBO’s income, this is a tremendous financial hardship for FBO. We will immediately begin brainstorming for funding ideas, researching grants and planning events to help supplement our revenue to continue with our bicycle advocacy efforts in Northern Arizona. If you have funding ideas, or would like to help, please contact Melissa at melissa@flagstaffbiking.org. Below is an exert from the official notice from New Belgium Brewing Company explaining their decision:

To all the members and Directors of Flagstaff Biking Organization and Northern Arizona Pride Association;

It is with sincere regret that after 8 amazing years, we have decided not to bring the Tour de Fat back to Flagstaff in 2008. We never thought the day would come when our flagship show could cause such a ruckus… nor did we ever see the Tour de Fat growing into the behemoth that it has become. As more and more folks discover the TDF, sadly not all of them have come for the purpose of moving the bicycle to the forefront of transportation. Instead they have focused on pushing revelry to new heights.

As we saw in 2007, this has put all stakeholders in a potentially dangerous situation. While the core of our mission is to help, the risk of calamity has become more imminent. Since Wheeler Park is sadly no longer an option, we have lost the ability to host the show downtown. We have also lost the confidence of the City of Flagstaff to host an event that enhances the town as opposed to putting it at risk. These are the major factors in our decision not to return. Without a suitable venue, or necessary permitting, we are without promising options. Know that this course of action was not taken lightly by our crew, the Brewery, or our Distributor in AZ. The TDF is a loss all parties will miss.

Sincerely,

New Belgium Brewing and Team TDF (the now sad Clowns)

On to the obligitories: hope all is well on your side. Get excited. This page looks the same now- and whatever. Big things come in 2008. Lots of stuff rhymes with eight, so all sorts of stuff could happen. You could find a mate. It could happen to those who wait. To those who gain weight. To those irate souls looking for a state of grace. All I know is this year will be great. This’ll be the year when we finally smash the state. Wait- J/K. That would be lame.

The show last night was insane. That’s kind of a hyperbole.

This Runs on Blood: I missed em. Don’t break up right now, I’d be bummed I missed your last show.

RIFF: Still bummed I didn’t make the cut.

Decadere: Listen guys, patches are so 20th Century. Branding is important in the 21st Century, but you have to be careful how you do it. Was I inebriated or did they sound kind of like Portraits of Past?

Dracholich: Be honest, do you remember this point of the night? These dudes are champions.

Okay, adults, go see Babies play on January 12th. Go see Vision of a Dying World on Jan 18th. (If you want to play this show, holler at me ASAP). At that new bar. The one where the inside looks like it’s soaking in blood. Like in the Shining? Wow.

If you haven’t already, start a band. Have a show at your house. See how it goes. I’m gonna go take a bath.

Hungdover and grateful,

Bobby Carlson

Subject: Dear Flagstaff, someone stole my laptop.
Body: So you might’ve heard,

My computer got taken from Primo’s sometime between 2:30 and 3:00am Thursday nite/Friday morning. I left it in a silver metal briefcase with an “Emlord” stencil on the outside, leaning against the building. I was distracted, exhausted and the only thing i was high on was the Coming Out Day party i had just played at the Mogollon (which was beyond awesome, btw, thanx urrbody). I don’t know when they took it, before or after I left, but its gone. I’m not a trust fund kid, I bought this thing with my own money, and I could really care less if it weren’t so damaging to my work.

I’m offering a $500 reward, no questions asked.

It’s a 13″ white Macbook, with a crap-ton of music on it.

If you know anything or have heard even a smidgen about something that could sound remotely like it, please don’t hesitate to call me or write me here.

Please, and thank you.
-Emmett
(928)600-1269 cel
Feel free to repost if you care.

Click here for the Robothouse Calendar on Facebook Application

Here’s a couple more trivial things that I learned:

1. The kiddie bowl at the bike park is my favorite thing to skate.

2. Bands that are playing their last show should give me more than an hour’s notice to see it.

3. I’m way too old to be that super drunk guy at the show that acts like a total and complete idiot.

4. Bud Light & Clamato in one can. Wow. Better than Miller Chill.

Here’s a couple shows you might enjoy. I’m sure there are others.

Friday September 14th

Treasure Mammal &

Babies

@ New House

7pm-10pm. Bring cash.

_________________

Monday October 8th

Numbers (www.numbersmusic.com)

This Runs on Blood

Babies

@ 111 S SF Street

all ages $5 8pm

And here’s a random picture of Soft Shoulder taken by Mihio, used without permission and without reason.

Sorry bout the lack of updates.

• Did the GITEM gang task force stop the Orpheum from doing a rap show?
• Really Smoooooth music @ the MonteV coming this July?
• Are the Greenhouse Production boyz still butthurt about some punk houseshow bratz?
• Could there be any more ‘metalcore’ shows in Flagstaff?

All this and more… coming soon never!

Also: if you’ve got writing, info, etc you want on here, send it to Ray and he’ll hook it up. Submit your doody or this site will move as slowly as we do. Which is cool with me.

Also: if you’re interested, Ray and my band put a new vid up on our website. It’s got the same cheesy Imovie effecs this one does. Even more of them.

Summer’s goin good so far. I hope yours is too.

Oh, and here are some images from these shows:

• 400 Blows & Tricops
• Lightning Bolt

Thanks to Ray Walker and Jason Moore, for great webspace and great design, respectively, and for supporting all things Flagstaff. One Life to Live! WhiteSlavery.Org!

Arizona bicyclists only want to be treated equally, and that is what the Coalition of Arizona Bicyclists (CAzB) is asking your help with. CAzB has been working with legislators to get a bill introduced that will add the offense of killing or seriously injuring a bicycle rider to the existing “serious physical injury or death by a moving violation” statute (ARS 28-672).

We have drafted a bill that would add significantly increased penalties for killing or seriously injuring a bicycle rider when they are being passed, are riding legally (in accordance with 28-812), taking a lane as provided in ARS 28-815 (A) 4. or riding in a bike lane or on a path.

Your help is needed to call, write or e-mail your legislators, to urge them to support making penalties for seriously injuring or killing bicycle riders the same as for motorists.
Ask them to support the bicycle legislation being introduced by Representive Robert Meza!
If you don’t know, or are not sure who your legislators are (one Senator and two Representatives per legislative district), you can find your legislators by going to the Legislature’s web site, and looking at: http://www.azleg.state.az.us/MemberRoster.asp
If you are not sure which district you are in, go here for a map of statewide legislative districts. Hint: Most of Flagstaff is District 2 -Ray

You may also call (toll free): 1-800-352-8404 (House or Senate) to reach your legislator by phone (be sure to ask for your specific legislator when you call).

Please contact your legislator today, as time is of the essence!!!

This video features “LIVE” performances by (in order) Hawnay Troof, Red Dress Press, The Makai, Robothouse: LTD

-Ray

Oh, and here’s some photos from Winter Formal. Check out the video below as well…

Oh, this too: My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-fd672353e3f6f2e4bc433e8c2aaf5f4d}

ltd.robothouse.org

Matt & Kim: dance. synth. pop.

Soft Shoulder: dance. pop. gnarl.

Special Guests: *

Bring some money or offerings (that are beneficial if they put gas in the tank of their vehicle) for touring bands. Keep butterfly knives at home. No wait…

THE NEXT NIGHT:

The best bands from Phoenix and us.

Information about chilling in Tucson on the next night is forthcoming.

Oh, and for a good closing / unifying message:

Lets try to be a bit more posi, since we’re all in this together.

The review of the review is definitely the most personal thing I’ve written on Robothouse, the website. Hell, it’s the most personal thing I’ve written since Sid and Vicious days which is a title I haven’t even thought of in at least three years.

Jesus, this must have something to do with my birthday. Fuck. The review is the kind of drivel lessers write on their blogs. Of course, Ray pays me big bucks for this so whatever.

Neener Neener.

Nevertheless, this might explain why I went so gonzo last night. I just let a little too loose. Like Summer (Rachel Bilson) at her senior pirate prom on the OC. God. Man, apologies if I grabbed your butt. Jeremy was in all white, I remember that. And “Big Pimpin” and “Sweet Child of Mine” and some Rocky remix song. Talking to Sofa Gabe about Confederacy of Dunces and Cormac McCarthy in the back of the bar. That was cool.

Okay, so the Paul sucks. Most of the time. That first solo album is awesome though. And Ringo’s an underrated drummer. He doesn’t scream for attention, he just gets the job done. And how.

See. Only you care about that shit. No one else. Maybe your elitist friends. Okay, and maybe that girl that moved to New York that’s obsessed with the Beatles that you almost lived with but are super glad that you didn’t. But even you think she’s a little weird with the Beatles stuff. I mean there are better bands than the Beatles. The Stones, the Who, hell, ELO has some pretty great songs.

But you see what I’m saying right? You talk down to people with this shit. When they don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re mean. Or you get closed minded. People think that you don’t like them. Do you get that? Why do you write shit like this? What are you trying to prove?

That you’re better than Nicki Esqudero? Who cares? She’s a human being. And she’s got a gig with the Flag Live. Who cares how many times you’ve tried to write for them. You’ve got your own website. Okay, it’s Ray’s website, but you’ve got total access to it. I mean you put this on there. Right?

Don’t be so down on yourself. And don’t be so down on other people whether they like the Beatles or not. Other people are entitled to their opinions. There are other opinions besides yours. Like assholes, remember? Don’t be an asshole. Bad writing is okay. It’s going to be okay.

Okay, wait, we have to start over. Let’s go through this word by word, poo by poo. The introductory paragraph, though not making me want to read further, is not god awful. Though I can’t help but want to make fun of Esqudero for downplaying Lennon and the Beatles to, “oh, I’ve heard of them,” it’s whatever.

The second paragraph, in which she points out that Lennon was British, though largely correct, because Lennon was British, also lived in New York, and besides all that, everyone knew who he was. The last sentence of the paragraph, “As a result, he was watched closely for being a possible conspirator against U.S. government,” is a bit of misnomer. He wasn’t watched because he was a protester. He was watched by everybody. If you saw him, you were like, “Hey, there’s John Lennon.” Well, he was monitored by the U.S. government, hence the title of the film, but Esqudero seems to suggest that Lennon being an objector to the Viet Nam war would necessitate his being scrutinized. Which of course is not as natural as Esqudero suggests, but rather the beginning of what the federal government now does as commonly as checking the stock market: violating the dude’s human rights.

So then we get to the paragraph introducing Yoko Ono, which I can’t help thinking, despite being infinitely more interesting than John Lennon, Esqudero had never heard of until her image popped up on the Harkins theater screen. (Hey, she’s in Scottsdale.)

So this is where it gets really good. “The film is pure documentary, but the film is artfully done.” As if to suggest that documentaries are dull, and not art. “…the transitions between scenes are interesting because the filmmakers use fades and montages throughout, making it stand apart from the average documentary.” In other words, “the filmmakers used standard editing techniques to make this film stand apart from the movies I was forced to watch in grade school. I’ve never seen a documentary, but they are boring. They better make this dinosaur relevant to my life or I’m going to get on the internet and copy and paste some shit and shine this one on.”

Am I reading too much into Esqudero’s prose?

The next paragraph is more of the same unbelievably obvious stuff about the Beatles music making up the soundtrack and why it adds to the film. Esqudero of course does not ask how much the music cost to put in the film or who had to be paid. That might’ve been sort of interesting.

“The film also touches on U.S political corruption…” Though I haven’t seen the film, this has to be largely what the film is about. “And the Black Panther movement, and the people interviewed are some of the biggest names from the time.” [“Or I assume so, as I have no idea who they are.”] “All this is very entertaining to watch [because if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have been made into a movie] and it’s especially relevant today [duh], comparing it [‘it’ is referring to what? The movie?] to the Bush administration, the war in Iraq and musicians like Kanye West and Green Day.[people I’ve actually heard of] And you don’t have to be a baby boomer to appreciate its message. (I can’t help but notice that Gen-Y in the first sentence is capitalized, while Baby Boomer is not.)

Why would a “baby boomer” care about its message? They were there. They know what happened. Also, if it’s a documentary, the idea is that it doesn’t have a message. It has a subject and a bias. It creates a narrative from the footage. That’s it.

Of course this is really a jab at the Flag Live, rather than this one author.

And though it’s not very relevant, I think it’s great that Movies at the Mall in their last months are picking up these documentaries that Esqudero won’t see, like Who Killed the Electric Car and America: From Freedom to Fascism. It’s a good way to go out. Movies at the Mall, and this critique.

At any rate, pull out your sample ballots and read along. The fact is that some of this shit is confusing and maybe if we put our heads together, when we piss in the ocean (that’s a metaphor for voting) at least we piss in the right direction.

When it comes to the candidates, I don’t think you’re doing anyone a disservice if you just vote straight democrat. It’s very important that you vote against superintendent of public instruction Tom Horne. He’s the worst.

The Flagstaff Unified School District Questions: Okay, I don’t know. I’m gonna get some info and update this. I swear the rest of this is only slightly more informative.

Prop 100. A yes vote would deny bail to anyone charged with “a serious felony”. Though I’d like to see some sort of legislation that denies and grants freedom to those accused of murder and such, in some way that has nothing to do with whether the accused is rich or not, that’s not gonna happen and this proposition is simply the wrong way to go in my eyes. Nevermind the fact that “serious felony” is not defined. Robothouse says vote no.

Prop 101. I have no fucking clue.

Prop 102. This would deny “improper” immigrants awards in a civil court case. Whatever. I bet this shit passes. They can stick this one up their asses. Vote no.

Prop 103. What’s incredible about this one is I haven’t seen one inch of media coverage about this. This would make English the “official” language of Arizona. Genius. What would Jesus do? Jesus would weep. Again.

Prop 104. I guess this would allow the state of Arizona to go into (more) debt to provide for stuff like law enforcement and public safety. Uh, I dunno. Whatever.

Prop 105. All fuckin garbled language for what could be either super good conservation intentions or very dark eminent domain legislation. I’d really like someone in the know to ring in on this one.

Prop 106. This one seems rad. To be honest I don’t really care that much for conservation so a bunch of honkeys can enjoy “nature” but it seems like this’ll really fuck big developers in the ass and that’s what Robothouse is all about.

Prop 107. This shit is so unconstitutional it’s just sad. It’s really just a god awful state of affairs that we even have to vote no on this. This is one of those ones that if you don’t vote, you should feel like a homophobic fascist for letting this shit slide.

Prop 200. What a concept! If you vote you could win the lottery. Why not? There’s no poor or sick people in Arizona that could use that money. As far as I know, there is absolutely no poverty in Arizona, and we should just throw a million dollars away to some schmuck that’s done their civic duty.

Prop 201. Okay this would be a more effective ban on smoking than already exists. To me, I say, why not… On the other hand, the only time I take in second hand smoke is at poorly regulated house shows and this, unfortunately, would have no effect on that. I’m really not sure voting yes is really necessary. Except to stick it up Phillip Morris’ million dollar butt hole. It’s tempting.

Prop 202. Why anyone would vote no on raising the minimum wage in Arizona, at least five years since it should’ve been raised, is completely beyond me and my neandertal brain. And yes I spelled that word wrong on purpose.

Prop 203. Hey this’ll tax cigarettes more and put that money in primary education funds. Are you so addicted to death that you can’t help the children?

Prop 204. Hey, it’s hogwash. I seriously doubt this prop will have any effect whatsoever, but whatever, just vote yes. Oh wait, male dairy cows were put on earth by god for human consumption, they don’t have any right to move around. Fuck cows. And fuck a pig too. But not cops. Cops are rad.

Prop 205. Recipe for serious voter fraud or good natured attempt to increase voter turnout? I have no idea. This would eliminate polling places and you’d just send in your ballot by mail. This sounds all good, except it also eliminates the sample ballot, which I’m using right now to hopefully, spread the word, whether you agree with one word of what I’m saying, the idea is dialogue. Without the miniscule information included in the sample ballot all you’d have is those fucking ads.

Prop 206. Ah yes, the fake smoking ban. Paid for by Phillip Morris, this would repeal the ban on smoking in bars. If you like to smell like a dirty asshole after a serious bender, vote yes. Yes, sometimes you smell like a serious asshole after a bender anyway, but you know what I’m saying, right?

Prop 207. This sounds like a big clusterfuck. Eminent domain. The government can take your shit. All in all, this one sounds like a yes vote would be excellent for the victim of “the man” taking their house. Unless I hear otherwise, I’m voting yes.

Prop 300. This one is fantastic. If this one passes, you can only take adult education classes like ESL if you’re a United States citizen. I really like this one in tandem with the English-as-official-language proposition. “You have to speak English. No, you can’t take a class that teaches you English. Get out of my country, you ugly brown person.” These propositions are not racist at all. How come there’s no propositions that say, “If you voted for George Bush, you will be sent to Iraq ahead of everyone else, no matter how poor or stupid they are and regardless of your physical condition. You reap what you sow, motherfucker.” ?

Prop 301. Basically, this one fucks anyone arrested on a methamphetamine charge to their full punishment. No parole. Vote yes on this one if you support sheriff Joe and you’re a fascist and you think addicts are terrorists rather than members of your community that are sick individuals that need treatment and support.

Prop 302. This one would bump the salaries of state legislators from 24,000 to 36,000 dollars a year. Honestly, this sounds fair. Except they have to be fucking rich to run for office in the first place. Part of me says fuck em. Part of me wants to help the one guy that got elected because he wants WalMart out of his neighborhood.

So that’s it. In epilogue, I’d like to see those radio and TV ads attacking so and so continue on past November 7th. Like, “Hey, you know that guy that beat me by a goddamn landslide. Well, he sucks and I’m gonna pay for ads for the next two years and tell you why he sucks.” I think that’d be really fun.

Please Vote. You know the rich people will.

(Okay, so this is by no means a well researched editorial, but rather one person’s ill informed opinion about lines of dialogue that seem far too black and white/conservative for this typical show goer.)

Say you’re at a party. You go into a room where not only is coke use going on, but you’ve been invited to join in if you’d like. You say, “Hey, I’ve never done that shit before. I’ve heard negative things.”

Don’t be ashamed to say such things. You might think it sounds lame but it’s so much lamer to have to say, “Yeah, Um, I spent most of my late teens sucking dick for coke in West Hollywood. No thanks. Well, actually, yes I will have six lines. Thank you.”

So one of the friends you came with says, “It’s fun if you take it easy with it. It’s not for everybody.”

Your other friend interjects; he’s looked very uncomfortable since he’s come into the room and witnessed the goings on. He says, “Did you know that drug smugglers kidnap and kill white babies only to gut them, load them with coke and sew their faces shut to cross the border? Anyone that does coke is a loser and a baby killer. You all need to think about that. Later.”

There are some problems with this argument.

First of all, coke is ridiculously expensive and if someone is willing to share their stash, they’re neither losers nor is it believable that they’re conscious baby killers. Secondly, stories like these, and though it sounds ridiculous, I’ve heard them, are insane. There’s nothing more conspicuous than a dead baby. Trust me, I know.

Then again, there are human mules as well as a thousand other human rights issues when it comes to producing and transporting cocaine. It’s impossible to describe the situation without simplifying it to problematic terms, but I will anyway. See, there’s these poor Latin American countries, with both the tyrannical government and their socialist enemies funding support for their causes with the illegal cocaine trade. Americans are big buyers. Like most of the items you buy and consume, profits skyrocket because of producer greed and consumer ignorance. The war on drugs with its deformed cousin, the war on terrorism, only make the game’s stakes exponentially higher. You know this already. You’ve seen the movie.

If it weren’t for the product’s illegality, it would simply be like most of the products you buy: a result of American imperialism and “Western” control of the market. Coffee, for example. Bananas. Oil. Anything that’s imported into this country is not done so by some American business diplomat saying, “Hi, we’d like to use your very valuable land to grow this cool stuff, which you will not be able to afford, as well as hire out your people as a labor force that we will pay far below a living wage. Sounds awesome, right? Let’s make a deal!”

Rather, these conditions are maintained by waving around the biggest gun barrel in the world. And I’m not talking about Colombia’s.

What I’m saying is that cocaine is what it is. Selling it and trading it is vicious business. There’s no doubt about this. I know because I watch the Wire. But the consumer of it is only as guilty as the consumer of coffee or gas, grapes, or ass. Black market capitalism works unbelievably similar to uh, “white” market capitalism.

I guess what I mean is: get educated before you go shooting your mouth off. By all means, be concerned. When cocaine becomes a prevalent fixture, the scene goes down. (Normally, I hate that word ‘scene’ but in this case, I just mean art and shit.) Believe that. If you think someone you know has a problem, do what you can to get him or her help. I just don’t know what good it does to shun them from our however-you-want-to-describe-it community. It just doesn’t seem to make sense to say that someone that supports some drug lord in some far off country trying to maintain a small army of soldiers is any worse than someone that supports a pharmaceutical company with not only a huge private army and support from the American government but ads on television telling me that I’m deficient in some way and need their product.

• repair used bikes
• share bike knowledge
• help organize
• teach a how-to class
• educate about automotive pollution
• teach us about different style bikes

LEARN:

• wheel repair
• hub greasing
• chain lubing
• correct bike height
• bike safety

ORGANIZE:

• fundraisers
• bike-ins
• bike-related events
• bike rides
• teach-ins
• critical mass
• bike parades
• bike art shows

FOCUS: We would like to share and extend our bike repair knowledge, free of charge, at a safe, altruistic and macho-free bicycle resource center for ALL people in Flagstaff. Our intent is to get more everyone on bikes. Furthermore, we want to network with other cycle-enthusiasts who care to branch our message all over and raise awareness to the importance of biking over driving, for health and political reasons.. and much more. Come interact with others who value the importance of free knowledge, recycled parts and bicycles.

Spokey the Bear says, “Only YOU can help prevent deflated tires…”

Contact:

For suggestions, assistance and questions, please contact:
email: bicykling@hotmail.com
phone: 928-699-5761

Bands? Creosote featuring Nick, Craig and Xotchle from New Frontiers. Greg, x-New Frontiers, Sam who plays guitar for NAU and Taryn, Southwest Regional Mafia champion for the 4th year running.
Aunti-Entity featuring Nyky founding member of the Fat Dog Alliance Support Group, Candice formerly of the experimental band M’Trailor, Myra From Maceys and Morning Glory and Kaelen (Dutchess’ Mom).

Ok, If you’re looking for the updates, check out the CALENDAR and if you wanna look at old flyers, chezck this out. Don’t worry, we’ll be getting more up in time… -Ray

Upcoming Upcomers:

Robothouse:

We’re First
November 10th @ Monte Vista w/ IceAge Cobra, JETOMI
December 8th @ Modified (tentavely titled: Reggae Meltdown Six) w/ Treasure Mammal, Soft Shoulder
December 9th @ Tucson House Shew w/ Treasure Mammal

Jetomi

October 28th @ Dracholich Halloween Extravaganza
November 7th @ Cottage w/ 400 Blows, Glass & Ashes, The Fucking Wrath (7-10 pm)

Creosote

October 20th @ Springhill House w/Warfair? and Smells Like Drunk (7-10pm)

Other Shows

November 6th @ Dutchess Manor Matt & Kim w/ (tentatively) Soft Shoulder (7-10) has been moved to DECEMBER 7th (all details but the date are the same). Don’t be confused.
October 21st @ Monte Vista Chief Beef
October 22nd @ Cottage Black Elk, Dracholich, Ashtarosh (Ash isn’t even in this band, isn’t that crazy?)

October 28th ZOMBIE PROM @ Mogollon

More info as it arrives and errors corrected regularly. Check Back!

And this Saturday I have to avoid an entire four or five square blocks by my house because they’re crawling with heavily intoxicated yuppie hippies, in costumes no less, fetishising bicycles to the extent of killing any coolness in the simple, muscle and gravity powered form of transport. Give me a drinking fest celebrating GOB’s Segway on Arrested Development and you might see me there. SUV’s are crammed up and down Park and Bonito all awaiting their city-sanctioned drunken driver. I know I’m not making any drinking buddies with my super on point analysis, and I like beer as much as the next yuppie hippie but c’mon. ‘New Belgium’? I know it’s the image of some mom and pop brewery that cares about shit, but c’mon, ‘New Belgium’ just sounds like imperialism. Maybe I’m full of shit. Maybe I’m just jealous of their sweet ass flyers. Maybe their Fat Tire beer just gives me the worst hangovers of all time. Maybe, I’m just like, “Hey man, how come I can only get super loaded in the park if some big beer company says I can, man?”

Moving on.

A source tells me that Zombeast and Hour of the Wolf got paid 20$ a piece for their packed show at 111 a couple weeks ago. The opening bands got paid nothing.

Everyone is amped for this dude: Corey Deickman is in BARR and will be touring with ‘the band,’ which includes Kevin Shea, of Storm and Stress and other bands that you go “whoa, that’s a sick drummer” when listening to the album, in February/March. Coming through Flagstaff, yes. Or, we hope so.

JETOMI is opening for Melvins and Big Business on November 25^th in Tucson at the Vaudeville. That’s sick.

Anomic Suicide, Landlord, and three other bands that haven’t played shows yet or have names are breaking up because all the members are addicted to ‘Magic: The Gathering,’ a card game invented in the 1990s for middle schoolers.

Movies at the Mall is closing its doors in December. Bummed.

A Baby Gecko/Soft Shoulder split 7” is under negotiation for release sometime in… Sometime.

That’s it. I think. Watch the movie with the microphone. Its funny. Expect more of those.

The understanding that will come though, before Ray or anyone else involved and omitted, gets on top of a building and thins out some of Flagstaff’s population yelling “Nicki Escudero fucking did this!” is that the One Eleven, or Wildman’s (pronounced WILL-DMINS), is just a building. Jim Mansene, the building’s owner is not some crook or douchebag. Well, maybe he is, but it’s nobody’s business. Mansene letting dumb kids or not letting them, use his property to make noise is just the same as any other property owner/landlord making that decision. Most, however unfortunately, would not let dumb kids into their property to do god knows what, like make art, or whatever.

When Ray called up last night, from the bar, and asked if I’d seen the article, I told them that I had, but hadn’t read it, as there was another article, about our new band and I was too amped about being the king of the week to care about the stupid One Eleven (Read it here. Let it go, already. I did however look at the photos. Which are awesome.

So I read it, and it was even more laughable than an article written by Nicki Escudero is expected to be. First of all, the guy doing the shows now, trying to “save the venue” is the real douchebag. He’s the guy paying the rent and whining about it being summer and there being no one in town to support his money making scheme. Effing ridiculous. The shows I’ve been to this summer, all summer, have been packed. Nevermind, everyone having the time of their lives. Fuck this guy.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on the music community here in Flagstaff,” he says. What you need to give up on, meathead, is making $2000 a month off the Flagstaff music scene. Move to LA, dimwit.

The other incredibly funny moment of the article is when the promoter that followed after Ray’s Biblical exodus from the venue in question, Shan Dan Horan says, “I mean he’s definitely a business guy, you know?” about Jim Mansene. This is fantastic, and reflects somewhat poorly on Horan and makes him out to be a retarded eighth grader with a savant type affliction for stating the obvious. He’s a business owner, of course his concern is getting people into his business; this is not some dark lord oppressing you. He’s just a dude that doesn’t give a fuck about art. Hey, there’s another one. There’s another one. But it also reflects so well why Escudero’s writing provides us writerly types with such fodder for her effigy burning. Not only does she include this quote that all but smashes Horan’s credibility, but doesn’t even try to edit it into something that reflects some thought by the speaker, but rather the sound of a random spontaneous brainfart.

(For the record, Shan is neither an 8th grader nor a retard. What Bobby’s trying to say is that Nicki’s article is so poorly written, she pretty much makes him look bad. I know this is repeating the last paragraph, but I have a sneaking suspicion that an 8th grader and/or retard could browse over the said paragraph and misinterpret what it’s meaning truly is. -Ray)

Which is why Ray will calm down. Because no one cares. This is Nicki Escudero we’re talking about here. The young lady that seemingly everyone loves to hate. Hey, she fucking lives in Scottsdale. Writers might call her a hack. (Hey, takes one to know one.) Others might call her a bit superficial. Others, perhaps, might say that she’s a bad, lazy journalist. But who cares? The One Eleven might be doomed. Who gives a fuck? Ray does, because he (and alot of GOOD kids! -Ray) put a good eight months of his blood, sweat and semen making sure it was a tits art gallery and venue that sustained itself, which was on track had he not been railroaded by the fact that the guy that owns it couldn’t give two fucks. But for everyone else who just complained that it wasn’t as good as a house show, in an ideal world, will simply get off their asses and keep on keeping on. And Ray will calm down. The music will do that.

And Nicki Escudero will continue to write about bands and things that I do not care about. The guy that wrote my band’s article (which you might want to read as an addendum that provides some good between-the-lines info to the One Eleven story) who wanted to remain somewhat anonymous, (but, hey, figure it out) was with Escudero when she started at NAU’s premiere waste of space rag, The Lumberjack. Everyone that loves to hate the great Escudero, blame this guy. Check it:

“Dear ***, Hi! I was just wondering if you could give me some advice. I applied to write for The Lumberjack because I have always loved to write, and I have had some experience writing and editing other newsletters. I wanted to write for Life becaue that is the section that I am most interested in, so when Ty assigned me there, I was really excited. I feel like the whole time I have been with the section I have just been a waste, taking up space and creating problems for you and Sarah. I really got the vibe that you never wanted me there, and now that I am with News, I was wondering if you could honestly tell me if you think I have any potential or if I should really just give up because being a writer is a waste of my time. Please be honest! I would so much more appreciate you honestly telling me that journalism isn’t something I should consider than you lying to me and telling me that I should give it a try. I know that you know my writing better than anyone, so I really trust you! Thank you so much! :-), Nicki P.S. If you would rather call me, my number is (*********); thank you!

Needless to say, ***’s response didn’t nip this one in the bud.

For more info: Last Stand at the 111?
Flag’s only underage music venue faces an uncertain future
By Nicki Escudero

Ok, now it’s Ray’s turn… what prompted Bobby’s post is very simple. It’s something we both agree on. The Flag Live is horrible. HORRIBLE. Take a look at the cover story.

Who wrote it? A girl who can’t “bring her grammer” correctly to a largely distributed publication, nor lives in this town anymore. She writes horrible articles. Who’s fault is it that they get to press? It’s not her fault, it’s ultimately the Flag Live’s fault.

Who took the photos? Well, Mihio did. He took them well over a year ago. The photos are also re-used. Now, I’m stoked that pictures of our bands and bands we hosted are so hot that the editors of the crappy rag re-use them, but c’mon. Plus, he no longer lives in town either. Who’s fault is it that there hasn’t been any photos of local shows, etc. It’s not Mihio’s as he is a champion and has an awesome family to take care of. The fault lies on The Flag Live’s head.

This next one goes out to Willed-Man’s. Some punk kids had no problem running an all ages venue for years with NO startup money, and not even one big ass local sponsor. You do have one thing on your side. You have a fucking lease. It’s your decision to sign a lease and not know how to run a rock venue. It was also your decision to talk shit to a local promoter who was pretty much handing over 3 months worth of free money to you (by the way of having shows already booked there.) It was also your decision to paint the place “crap ass” black and make it look something reminicent of what a stoner would do if he wanted to turn his basement into a strip club. Deal with it. Pony Up and be an “American Maaaaan!” I dealt with it when I got screwed my Mansene and his eviction notice. I moved on. I didn’t put it on any person or scene in this town like what seems to be going on in this crappy article.

Anyways, it isn’t him or me or any business owner that run this all ages scene. It’s the kids. The kids will do what they will. They will listen to horrible music, try to sneak in alcohol to legal venues. They’ll tear your heart out and make fun of it on myspace. They’ll associate theirselves with corporate area codes and put x’s on their hands, but not even know it’s origins. They’ll end up making you hate what you love, and there’s nothing you can do about it. If you take away their venues and what they love, they’ll recover and make better ones and love it more just to spite you. (Ok… I hope you’re laughing at that last paragraph, because I sure am. I mean, what’s a rant without some self-depreciating BS in it? What the paragraph really means is that the kids and bands that could have been helping you out with your venue had an incredibly awesome summer. I saw over 10 kickass houseshows over the past few months that pulled more people than the benefit @ Willed Man’s.)

Now that I think about, and have calmed down, I am VERY happy Nicki did not contact or quote me for tihs article. I’d end up looking like too much of an ass. Let’s face it, I do way to good of a job doing that on my own!

-Ray

PS: The Rumor hot off the presses is that someone got electrocuted at or right before the benefit show. Man, I hope none of those kids get electrocuted there! It sounds like a safety hazard…

PPS: Score one for Flag Live, as we DID notice that you put Phil Buckman on the only photo that wasn’t taken by Mihio. The picture of Phil was indeed taken by Mihio.

PPPS: The real reason why the title is so vulgar, aside from the fact that it’s funny and will create tons of gossip and drama is that I believe that the Flag Live will print about anything out there, so why not this? I will say that there are a number of writers that Bobby and I like, but they’re few and far between, which makes us appreciate em even more